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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Amelie's at her Grandma's house today, which is probably just as well because she's becoming slightly obsessed with the Cillit Bang advert, and keeps running out of the living room shouting "Mummy, I've just seen Barry Scott!". Which is slightly unsettling. I keep thinking Lisa's having an affair. So the girl could do with a day away from the TV, just to calm down and refocus her mind on more healthy obsessions such as SpongeBob SquarePants and The Simpsons.

It means that I've had time today to channel the ghost of Michael Winner and harness his expertise to make a high quality film for no money in a short space of time. Whilst in Devizes last week, I shot a video of Amelie using the slide at the small play area around the corner from Big Sis's house, and having done so, I realised that I had a similar video from two years ago. So using the magic of technology, and some directorial flair, I've come up with this...

Obviously if I had a voice-over from Barry Scott, it would be a lot better, but even so, it successfully highlights two important things: how far she's come in two years, and that she's lucky to still be alive.

She's not the only one developing rapidly though. Toby's first tooth, which emerged a few weeks ago, is now protruding enough for him to open a can of worms on the stage of the Jeremy Kyle Show, but interestingly, whilst discussing his dental development with Lisa last night over of a box of Slovakian Ferrero Rocher (which is enough to make the ambassador Hungary), she referred to Toby's tooth as a 'radish stabber'.

I spoke for the rest of mankind by saying "What?", to which Lisa responded that 'radish stabber' is a common expression for a baby's first tooth, and has been used by her mother for years. Despite the fact that she doesn't eat vegetables. I tactfully put forward the suggestion that no one else in the English-speaking world has ever used that phrase, and that it's possible her mother could be barking, but Lisa insisted it's in widespread usage around the globe, and that I'm just an ignoramus.

As a result, I'm publishing it here, so that when Lisa enters the phrase 'radish stabber' into Google to check how many times it's mentioned on the world's 650 million websites and hundreds of billions of pages, she won't be disappointed.


Peter Chapman said...

That's totes funny! ZERO results.

Phil's Mum said...

How about this: goofer toofer (noun) : a nickname given to a baby who has just gotten his or her first tooth or teeth.
Look at him! His first tooth! The little goofer toofer!

Phil said...

Google ain't what it used to be.

Phil's Mum said...

I should like to place it on record that the previous comment was NOT made by me, but this one is:- I don't think today's young Mums have even heard of radishes, let alone a 'radish stabber'.

Lisa said...

Loving 'goofer toofer'