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Thursday, June 28, 2012

I was reading a newly-published scientific paper today, entitled 'Most Older Pedestrians Are Unable to Cross the Road in Time', which is quite an accusatory title. I think the author has mown down a few pensioners and is trying to make her excuses.

The surprising outcome of the study is that approximately 90% of people over 65 can't walk fast enough to use a pedestrian crossing in the UK. The other 10% are driving around in Nissan Micras, clipping them before they reach the kerb.

According to the report, "The ability to cross the road safely is important for the health of older people", and helps them avoid getting mangled under wheel-arches, but the most startling revelation of all is that "There is some evidence that walking speed is socially patterned".

Apparently the more common you are, the slower you shuffle around the council estate.

Those aren't my words, those are the words of legitimate science. Although I've paraphrased them a bit. It explains why it takes Lisa ten minutes to walk up the hill from the bus stop. She claims it's because she's eight months pregnant, but frankly I've been packing that kind of weight around my middle for years, and I can still haul myself up the hill. I'm clearly just a lot more classy.


Phil's Dad said...

I knew there was a good reason for my preference to stay indoors and do very little!!

Phil's Mum said...

It sounds like a very prejudiced report to me - though I agree it is quite difficult to get across the road while the green man is showing.  I always thought it was HIS fault.

Phil said...

If he's slowing you down, it means you've married beneath you.

Phil's Mum said...

I meant the green man actually!