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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

According to today's papers, the latest scientific research suggests that 'man flu' does exist, and men aren't just making it up to get sympathy. Not that I ever thought we were. As the Daily Telegraph puts it, "men suffer more because they invest in their spirit of adventure at the expense of their immune system". Which explains why I was feeling so tired yesterday. It's my adventurous spirit.

But now that Lisa's contractually obliged to feel sorry for me as a man, I feel a lot better. So getting back to those cars, seagulls and cats who wear clothes...

Google Street View finally went live in Brighton last week, which is obviously fantastic news for nosey people like me. I've spent a lot of the past few days trying to peer through the windows of people I know. And now I can do it online as well. But the most shocking aspect of it all is that they've managed to photograph my car looking clean...

Car Wash
Although I don't like the way that mystery blonde is touching it up.

Needless to say, by succeeding in sending their cameras around on a day when I'd just washed my car, Google have beaten some quite astronomical odds, but surprisingly that's not the picture which has made headlines. That honour goes to this photo...

Gully Gosh
That's Brighton Police Station in John Street, just down the road from here, with the law courts covered in scaffolding next door. And in front of them both there's a daring heist taking place as a seagull makes off with a chip. Or possibly a fish finger. Personally I think it's a deep-fried Twix in batter, but I seem to be alone in that view.

Anyhoo, as the Daily Mail reported last Friday, "It is a sight that will be familiar if you live in Brighton". And they're not wrong. Lisa worked in that building for more than ten years, so I'm no stranger to the view from that wall under the gull's wing. If I hadn't sat there on numerous occasions, waiting for the cops to let her out, I wouldn't have come up with blog posts like this. I can't believe that was written almost six years ago. Where has my life gone?

But before I sit down with my head in my hands and ponder my lost youth, I can exclusively reveal that the seagull above isn't the only creature to pose for Google's cameras in Brighton. Anyone who's flicked through this nonsense over the past couple of years will be familiar with Brighton's best-dressed cat, the lovely Linda...

That's her aged 16 in her wedding dress. She turned 17 last month, so I expect a divorce is just around the corner.

But what's around the corner on Google Street View is this photo of Stefan & Andrew's flat...

How much is that pussy in the window?
I just can't believe she's naked.