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Monday, December 28, 2009

I'll open THAT one.Well we've opened all our presents, blown our noses on the wrapping paper, sobbed into our mince pies and thrown up into bins, beds, buckets and bathrooms, and now, as I sit here listening to the sound of my teeth gently rotting and the beta cells in my pancreas dying from exhaustion, I think Christmas might be over. If only I could say the same for the hideous illness which has struck us down for the entire festive period.

I'm not saying this has been my worst Christmas ever... but I would do if I hadn't lost my voice. Frankly it's been a nightmare from start to finish. As things stand right now, I'm on the verge of suing the makers of Pandemrix, because quite honestly, if this isn't swine flu, someone needs to get on to the World Health Organisation and tell them we've found something worse.

Having thrown up on Christmas Eve night and begun Christmas morning with a splitting headache, a sore throat and no obvious means of breathing, Lisa and I were pretty sure that no one was more sick than we were. That was until Amelie arrived. I've had to photograph her with her back to the camera, because her ill little face has the ability to simultaneously break hearts and turn stomachs. She's barely eaten for four days. Which is actually quite handy, because we haven't got the energy to clean her teeth. If the family that cries together, stays together, then the three of us will never be apart.

But despite looking like two plague victims and a street urchin, and with no end to the suffering currently in sight, the festive period hasn't been without its highlights. For a start, I've managed to recreate Charlie's Angels using Lisa, my sister-in-law and Big Sis...

Phil's Angels
Although things started to go wrong when I sent them out on their first mission...

Hell's Angels
It's not so much Phil's Angels as Hell's Angels. The irony is that despite carrying a black cat through a car park on Boxing Day morning in an evening dress, coat and white trainers, Big Sis is the only one not considered to be ill.


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