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Friday, August 12, 2005

I've missed my chance of fame yet again. ITV were broadcasting part of 'This Morning'... um.... this morning, from Brighton beach. Not only Brighton beach, but a part of Brighton beach I can so very nearly see from Lisa's bedroom window. I know it well, coz it's near the drive-thru McDonalds.

I was tempted to head straight down there (the beach, not the McDonalds) (well, to be honest, both of them), but they'd outrageously decided to film the interviews and outdoor cooking spot from within the sand sculpture exhibition by the marina. And you have to pay to get in. Now, I'm as keen to pull stupid faces in the background of a live TV show as the next man, but I'm not going to pay for the privelege. So I stayed in and ate porridge instead.

I did venture out at lunchtime though and met Lisa for a quick jaunt around Boots, where I bought up all the cut-price men's grooming products, before heading to the pub for a 45 minute dissection of the news that Tom Cruise has been found in bed with Rob Thomas, the lead singer of Matchbox 20, whose first solo album my parents gave me for my birthday. Obviously they wouldn't have bought me the album if they'd known he was cheating on his wife in order to have a gay affair with Tom Cruise, but on the bright side, the story's almost certainly not true.

Unlike the one about Mission Impossible III being put on hold because Tom Cruise is HIV positive and therefore uninsurable. Which is obviously guaranteed gospel.

Anyhoo, having seen Lisa safely back to work, I embarked on my good deed for the day - driving Lisa's Mum over to Lisa's Aunt & Uncle's house. I stayed long enough to drink tea, eat home-made fruit cake, and hear about wartime experiences in Iceland (the country, not the freezer shop). It obviously went down well, because Lisa spoke to her aunt on the phone this evening, and was informed that not only am I lovely (which we already knew), but meeting me is like going back in time, because I shake men's hands and kiss ladies on the cheek. Unlike the youth of today, who go straight for tongues (she didn't actually say that bit, but I know what she meant).

She then added that if Lisa doesn't want me, she'll have me. Which is handy. It's always good to have something to fall back on. And let's face it - the woman has access to cake.